My youngest son turned 5 on Tuesday, and boy, what a day! Let me recap it for you, and then you can decide if it's the kind of day you dreamed of when you were under 10 years of age:
Wake up by or before 7am (he was wide freaking awake when my alarm went off at 7:15am). Open your first present of the day - a Webkinz Lava Dragon - and eat two bowls of Fruit Loops, which you personally selected to be your special birthday breakfast treat the day before.
Now that you have enough sugar coursing through your veins to sustain the average teenager for a week, you get to open more presents! First is a special collector's tin with two new Bakugan inside, followed by the just-released Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story for your DS. One "aunt & uncle" sent you $10 cash - maybe you'll play the ponies today?
You are extra smug because your older siblings have to trudge off to Guantanamo Bay - I mean elementary school - for the day, but you don't go to school on Tuesdays. Bonus! So you get to spend your birthday at home with your old man, playing with all your new birthday loot as well as the usual distractions: video games, TV, running around outside, and dreaming up get-rich-quick schemes.
Next, you head off to the local soccer center to have your weekly footie session. You do a good job not picking up the ball with your hands too much, but you are otherwise not focused and really don't have your head in the game. You're kind of tired, a little hungry, and ready to go home NOW.
When you get home, your grandparents show up with a Happy Meal for your lunch. You happily down your chow, show the old peeps your stuff, and yes, open more presents! A Hot Wheel and a Target gift card? Score! When are we going shopping, daddy?
You wear out your grandparents, play a bit more, and then it's time to go fetch big brother & sister from the bus stop. Of course you wear your birthday crown (why yes, you DID celebrate your b-day at school on Monday) and flash your megawatt smile as much as possible.
Time for an after-school snack with the sibs, take in a little more fun, and then head off to Bellevue so the sibs can attend their Tuesday appointment. Your busy day catches up to you finally, as you climb under the chairs and doze off for 10 or so minutes. Daddy wakes you up, but you're not fussy because it is time to go pick up mommy and go to Red Robin's house!
Traffic is a bit sucky, but you cope with it well enough. When you get to RR, your other grandpa is there waiting for you - hooray! You power down a bowl of mac & cheese, mandarin oranges, and a few of daddy's taters (are you gonna eat those fries, dude?) - but no dessert. Say what? Oh yeah, right, you have a Cold Stone ice cream cake waiting at home - schweet!
Triple chocolate death is served (chocolate cake, chocolate ice cream, chocolate ganache) and a good time is had by all. You open your last round of presents - a LEGO Star Wars tank - and put daddy to work on that bad boy.
Your day ends with you crashed in mommy & daddy's bed, clutching your Lava Dragon, and dreaming LEGO Star Wars and Bakugan dreams. I don't know what else you could have done to top that, except maybe have a Pump It Up or Chuck-E-Cheese party with twenty other screaming 4 and 5 year olds. Heh.
I don't know how he did it, but the little man managed to turn his big day into a 12 to 14 hour nonstop par-tay, complete with multiple present sessions, his favorite meals, and time spent with most of his favorite family members. If I was 5, I like to think I would have enjoyed that day as much as I think my little Taz did.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Sure, I can laugh about it now...
Today was totally "one of THOSE days." You know the kind - where just about anything and everything goes awry. Nothing super crappy like the dog ran away or you got a speeding ticket or some heartless fucker ate the last Skinny Cow in the freezer. Just a slow but constant accumulation of things blowing up.
Around 4:10am, my daughter wakes me up because she has managed to tie her hair in a knot. How does one tie a knot in their hair in the wee hours? I do my best to de-knot her hair, and partially succeed. Later, I will find out that she got up again around 5 or 6 and cut out the offending locks with some scissors. Thankfully, she does a nice job and there are no huge clumps of missing hair dotting her precious scalp.
I think this rude awakening, along with general tossing and turning, causes me to oversleep. I wake up at 8:10am, about 30-40 minutes later than usual. I go into Drill Sergeant mode, barking orders and herding the troops as fast as I can. Eat breakfast! Get dressed! Brush hair and teeth! Shoes and socks! Off to the bus stop! GOGOGO! We manage to make it to the bus stop with 5 minutes to spare.
My folks then arrive to watch Nik while I go to school to help out in Hope's class for the last time this year. Nik is not happy, and pitches a huge fit. Sorry about that, mom and dad.
Today at school, the 2nd graders were all launching their flying objects (no kits or other pre-made rockets, etc). There were some pretty neat creations, some nice tries, and a few duds. Hope assembled a balsa wood glider that I made using plans off The Intertubes (Google "chuck glider" and you'll get the general idea). I cut the pieces, and Hope glued them together and painted her plane. We did some test flights Monday evening, so we know it flies. But Hope couldn't quite grasp the launch sequence (hold glider by tail, hold rubber band launcher with other hand, and loop rubber band on notch under nose). She looped the band under the nose and then back over the glider, and held the launch stick behind the glider, so when she let the glider loose, the torque tore the tail off the plane. She took it pretty well, and only mostly blames me. After all the kids were done, I launched the backup plane I had with me, and it sailed straight and true for about 40 feet. It works, I tell you!
Head home to pick up Nik and head back to school to pick up Lukas, and then bring Nik to his last day of preschool. Nik decides he wants my folks to bring him to school, so I can go get Lukas and hopefully Nik will have a good drop off - sometimes he decides to have a fit, other days he can't wait to get to school. I have trouble getting the car out of Park and into Reverse. I blame Nik for hanging on the shift lever when he plays in the car, because that's just the sort of thing Nik is capable of.
After coaxing the car out of Park, I get Lukas and we get back into the car. (Cue up ominous car trouble music now, please). This time, I cannot for the life of me get the car out of Park. I was *this close* to snapping the fucking shift lever off the fucking steering column, but my calm side prevailed, and I consulted my owner's manual. What do you know, there's a little slot on top of the steering column that you can jam the key down into, and manually shift out of Park. Saved! This means I'm not dead in the school parking lot, but my car is still FUBAR.
Back home, I call the dealer and arrange to have it looked at today. Bonus! And the super-neato extended warranty (which has already been used at least once before) is still in effect. Double bonus! So my folks follow me to the dealer.
Whilst en route to the dealer, the school nurse from Nik's school calls. We start to discuss his ears, as he is suffering from a sudden earache from hell. I say we start to discuss this, because right as I'm telling the nurse about Nik's ear tube history, my phone dies. I had let the battery get low enough that a couple of calls drained it dry. Fuck! So the nurse calls me right back, gets my voice mail, and calls Tracy, who is then unable to get ahold of me. Sweet!
Thankfully, mom has cell phone so I can call the nurse back and tell her I will come pick up Nik ASAP. We drop the car off, head back home, and I pick up Tracy's car. My folks take Lukas back home and I go get Nik. When I get to school, he's in the fetal position with one of the teachers holding a wet cloth over his bright red ear. They take such good care of him - thank you, ladies!
On the way home, Nik announces his ongoing need for a large blue Bakugan. I decide it will aid my cause, since he might focus on it more than his ears. Also, I had promised him a new toy once school was over (today was his last day). On the way home from Target, the fuel light comes on. Gah!
No sooner do I get home when the school nurse at Hope's school calls. Now Hope isn't feeling well to boot. Nik decides that he has to go with me, I tell him no, he suffers a complete and total China Syndrome. I leave him at home screaming bloody murder (sorry again, mom and dad) and go get Hope. The upside of this turn of events? I cancel Hope's weekly trip to Friendship Group, so we don't need to drive to Bellevue and back in the middle of rush hour.
While all this is going on, Tracy is on the phone trying to get Nik in at his doctor's office today. Medical phone tag ensues, and the bottom line is we can't get him in until Wednesday morning. Now that the Tylenol has kicked in, Nik is in a happy place, so this is not an issue.
Oh yeah, we are still waiting to hear about my car. Turns out to be some rear brake light switch that made things lock up (you cannot put the car into gear unless your foot is on the brake, and I guess this faulty switch said my foot was not on the brake, even when I was pushing the brake pedal through the floorboard at the time). It's a quick and cheap fix, but I still end up paying around $80-90 as my deductible is OF COURSE $100. Ah well, the car is fixed and ready for pick up.
I guess at this point in time, things start to smooth out. I gas up the car, pick up Tracy, pick up my happy car, and head home. Eat dinner, take Jennie for a nice, long walk, and watch all 3 kids fall asleep more or less right away at bedtime. It's a miracle.
So not total catastrophe, but just a seemingly endless series of "are you kidding me?!?" events that came at me one after another. All I really want to say is THANK YOU mom and dad for spending all day with us, driving around, watching kids who were sometimes nice and sometimes screaming, and for letting me use your phone. If you guys weren't around today, it would have been a total clusterfuck, I shit you not.
TK
Around 4:10am, my daughter wakes me up because she has managed to tie her hair in a knot. How does one tie a knot in their hair in the wee hours? I do my best to de-knot her hair, and partially succeed. Later, I will find out that she got up again around 5 or 6 and cut out the offending locks with some scissors. Thankfully, she does a nice job and there are no huge clumps of missing hair dotting her precious scalp.
I think this rude awakening, along with general tossing and turning, causes me to oversleep. I wake up at 8:10am, about 30-40 minutes later than usual. I go into Drill Sergeant mode, barking orders and herding the troops as fast as I can. Eat breakfast! Get dressed! Brush hair and teeth! Shoes and socks! Off to the bus stop! GOGOGO! We manage to make it to the bus stop with 5 minutes to spare.
My folks then arrive to watch Nik while I go to school to help out in Hope's class for the last time this year. Nik is not happy, and pitches a huge fit. Sorry about that, mom and dad.
Today at school, the 2nd graders were all launching their flying objects (no kits or other pre-made rockets, etc). There were some pretty neat creations, some nice tries, and a few duds. Hope assembled a balsa wood glider that I made using plans off The Intertubes (Google "chuck glider" and you'll get the general idea). I cut the pieces, and Hope glued them together and painted her plane. We did some test flights Monday evening, so we know it flies. But Hope couldn't quite grasp the launch sequence (hold glider by tail, hold rubber band launcher with other hand, and loop rubber band on notch under nose). She looped the band under the nose and then back over the glider, and held the launch stick behind the glider, so when she let the glider loose, the torque tore the tail off the plane. She took it pretty well, and only mostly blames me. After all the kids were done, I launched the backup plane I had with me, and it sailed straight and true for about 40 feet. It works, I tell you!
Head home to pick up Nik and head back to school to pick up Lukas, and then bring Nik to his last day of preschool. Nik decides he wants my folks to bring him to school, so I can go get Lukas and hopefully Nik will have a good drop off - sometimes he decides to have a fit, other days he can't wait to get to school. I have trouble getting the car out of Park and into Reverse. I blame Nik for hanging on the shift lever when he plays in the car, because that's just the sort of thing Nik is capable of.
After coaxing the car out of Park, I get Lukas and we get back into the car. (Cue up ominous car trouble music now, please). This time, I cannot for the life of me get the car out of Park. I was *this close* to snapping the fucking shift lever off the fucking steering column, but my calm side prevailed, and I consulted my owner's manual. What do you know, there's a little slot on top of the steering column that you can jam the key down into, and manually shift out of Park. Saved! This means I'm not dead in the school parking lot, but my car is still FUBAR.
Back home, I call the dealer and arrange to have it looked at today. Bonus! And the super-neato extended warranty (which has already been used at least once before) is still in effect. Double bonus! So my folks follow me to the dealer.
Whilst en route to the dealer, the school nurse from Nik's school calls. We start to discuss his ears, as he is suffering from a sudden earache from hell. I say we start to discuss this, because right as I'm telling the nurse about Nik's ear tube history, my phone dies. I had let the battery get low enough that a couple of calls drained it dry. Fuck! So the nurse calls me right back, gets my voice mail, and calls Tracy, who is then unable to get ahold of me. Sweet!
Thankfully, mom has cell phone so I can call the nurse back and tell her I will come pick up Nik ASAP. We drop the car off, head back home, and I pick up Tracy's car. My folks take Lukas back home and I go get Nik. When I get to school, he's in the fetal position with one of the teachers holding a wet cloth over his bright red ear. They take such good care of him - thank you, ladies!
On the way home, Nik announces his ongoing need for a large blue Bakugan. I decide it will aid my cause, since he might focus on it more than his ears. Also, I had promised him a new toy once school was over (today was his last day). On the way home from Target, the fuel light comes on. Gah!
No sooner do I get home when the school nurse at Hope's school calls. Now Hope isn't feeling well to boot. Nik decides that he has to go with me, I tell him no, he suffers a complete and total China Syndrome. I leave him at home screaming bloody murder (sorry again, mom and dad) and go get Hope. The upside of this turn of events? I cancel Hope's weekly trip to Friendship Group, so we don't need to drive to Bellevue and back in the middle of rush hour.
While all this is going on, Tracy is on the phone trying to get Nik in at his doctor's office today. Medical phone tag ensues, and the bottom line is we can't get him in until Wednesday morning. Now that the Tylenol has kicked in, Nik is in a happy place, so this is not an issue.
Oh yeah, we are still waiting to hear about my car. Turns out to be some rear brake light switch that made things lock up (you cannot put the car into gear unless your foot is on the brake, and I guess this faulty switch said my foot was not on the brake, even when I was pushing the brake pedal through the floorboard at the time). It's a quick and cheap fix, but I still end up paying around $80-90 as my deductible is OF COURSE $100. Ah well, the car is fixed and ready for pick up.
I guess at this point in time, things start to smooth out. I gas up the car, pick up Tracy, pick up my happy car, and head home. Eat dinner, take Jennie for a nice, long walk, and watch all 3 kids fall asleep more or less right away at bedtime. It's a miracle.
So not total catastrophe, but just a seemingly endless series of "are you kidding me?!?" events that came at me one after another. All I really want to say is THANK YOU mom and dad for spending all day with us, driving around, watching kids who were sometimes nice and sometimes screaming, and for letting me use your phone. If you guys weren't around today, it would have been a total clusterfuck, I shit you not.
TK
Friday, August 1, 2008
Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies...
"Daddy, how did Uncle Mikey die?"
We were driving around the village today, and the kids were talking about how blue the sky is and heaven. You know, heavy stuff like "What do clouds taste like?" and "Can we really eat anything we want in heaven?" Oh, and my favorite: "What do meat-eating dinosaurs eat in heaven? Do they chase us around, or eat our pets?" All good questions in my opinion.
My answers were pretty much on the level: "I guess clouds taste like whatever you want them to taste like." Also, "Sure, you can eat anything you want. But eating deep-fried Kit Kat bars drizzled with fudge every day might get old, you know?" And "Well, I guess Mr. Allosaurus would probably be happy chasing around clouds shaped like a big 'ol brontosaurus."
And then my daughter hit me with the Uncle Mikey question. She's almost eight. The boys are almost four and six. I paused. What do I say? The honest parent in me says I should tell the truth. The realistic parent in me says I should phrase my answer in an ambiguous sort of way, without telling an outright lie. In this case, realism trumped honesty. At least at the ages the kids are at right now.
I mean, come on, do I really want to tell them that Uncle Mikey sat on his couch, put a gun to his head, and blew his brains out? Not right now, I don't. That can of worms is for another time, another sunny day, another discussion about heaven, blue skies, and things to eat in the afterlife, whatever that may be.
"Well, Uncle Mikey had something wrong with his head. He was sad and confused a lot." I paused again, thinking of how to better explain things without going into Suicide 101. Lucky for me, I was bailed out by Target. "Daddy," my daughter asked "can we get a treat at Target?"
So we picked up a treat at Target and swung by our FLGS (Friendly Local Gaming Store) to look at all the cool (geeky) stuff on the shelves. I know the Uncle Mikey question will come up again at some point. And I'll be ready with the honest answer when the kids are older.
We were driving around the village today, and the kids were talking about how blue the sky is and heaven. You know, heavy stuff like "What do clouds taste like?" and "Can we really eat anything we want in heaven?" Oh, and my favorite: "What do meat-eating dinosaurs eat in heaven? Do they chase us around, or eat our pets?" All good questions in my opinion.
My answers were pretty much on the level: "I guess clouds taste like whatever you want them to taste like." Also, "Sure, you can eat anything you want. But eating deep-fried Kit Kat bars drizzled with fudge every day might get old, you know?" And "Well, I guess Mr. Allosaurus would probably be happy chasing around clouds shaped like a big 'ol brontosaurus."
And then my daughter hit me with the Uncle Mikey question. She's almost eight. The boys are almost four and six. I paused. What do I say? The honest parent in me says I should tell the truth. The realistic parent in me says I should phrase my answer in an ambiguous sort of way, without telling an outright lie. In this case, realism trumped honesty. At least at the ages the kids are at right now.
I mean, come on, do I really want to tell them that Uncle Mikey sat on his couch, put a gun to his head, and blew his brains out? Not right now, I don't. That can of worms is for another time, another sunny day, another discussion about heaven, blue skies, and things to eat in the afterlife, whatever that may be.
"Well, Uncle Mikey had something wrong with his head. He was sad and confused a lot." I paused again, thinking of how to better explain things without going into Suicide 101. Lucky for me, I was bailed out by Target. "Daddy," my daughter asked "can we get a treat at Target?"
So we picked up a treat at Target and swung by our FLGS (Friendly Local Gaming Store) to look at all the cool (geeky) stuff on the shelves. I know the Uncle Mikey question will come up again at some point. And I'll be ready with the honest answer when the kids are older.
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